℗ 2023
Oh God Do I need God? Who is God? I've never had God Oh God I don't ever want to be alone Maybe I should call my mom and say I'm moving home I'm tired of saying bless this mess But I'm too in love with Los Angeles If I give up, I'll regret it when I'm old Fucking off and watching trashy TV Spending all my twenties not believing anything Oh God Do I need God? Who is God? I've never had God Oh God I used to walk around downtown at night Start conversations with strangers when they'd ask me for a light I was smiling in the face of time I was a touch naive but it really felt sublime, subline Fucking off at Starbucks, cold brew coffee Spending all my twenties not believing anything Oh God Do I need God? Who is God? I've never had God Oh God Do I need God? Who is God? I've never had God Oh God
Wake up, hand upon my forehead Can't believe this is the way I live Even now Still somehow Told my mom it was the last time Told myself maybe it's okay One more time One more time I don't wanna call first thing in the morning Desperate for help to feel normal Over and over and over again I keep doing bad, bad, bad, bad, bad I did a bad thing I wasn't thinking I did a bad thing I wasn't thinking Get caught in empty conversation Fake friends and chemical temptations Turn them down Turn them down This time I will take it slowly Say no to everything I don't need Turn it down Turn it down I don't wanna call first thing in the morning Desperate for help to feel normal Over and over and over again I keep doing bad, bad, bad, bad, bad I did a bad thing I wasn't thinking I did a bad thing I wasn't thinking Ha, ha, ha, ha Ha, ha, ha, ha Ha, ha, ha, ha Ha, ha, ha, ha Ha, ha, ha, ha Ha, ha, ha, ha Ha, ha, ha, ha Ha, ha, ha I don't ever, ever, ever wanna go to sleep I, I, I don't ever, ever, ever wanna to go to sleep I, I, I don't ever, ever, ever wanna to go to sleep 'Cause I want more and I want more Until I wake up, turn around And I did a bad thing I did a bad thing Over and over and over again Over and over and over again Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha (again) Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha Over and over and over again Over and over and over and over again
I know you've been talking to girls on the internet She's only nineteen and I can't compete with that I've been trying to change the way I look so you like what you see I've been losing weight so I can wear these Dolls Kill jeans Why did I do that? Why did I do that? Nothing has changed, I'm just sad and in pain Said, I would never be desperate Look at me Why did I do that? Why did I do that? Now I'm wearing black 'cause you like me like that Said, I would never be desperate Look at me There's nothing to see here There's nothing to see My mom was relieved when she heard I was through with you But my heart still stops when I see a green Subaru You told me that you loved me but you mispronounced my name I never corrected you, 'cause I didn't wanna push you away Why did I do that? Why did I do that? Nothing has changed, I'm just sad and in pain Said, I would never be desperate Look at me Why did I do that? Why did I do that? Now I'm wearing black 'cause you like me like that Said, I would never be desperate Look at me There's nothing to see here There's nothing to see here There's nothing to see here There's nothing to see here There's nothing to see There's nothing to see here There's nothing to see here Why did I do that? Why did I do that? Nothing has changed, I'm just sad and in pain Said, I would never be desperate Look at me Why did I do that? Why did I do that? Now I'm wearing black 'cause you like me like that Said, I would never be desperate Look at me There's nothing to see here There's nothing to see here There's nothing to see
My mother keeps secrets like a ghost I ask her what her parents were like She says that she doesn't know, I Find that hard to believe If someone asked me to describe her I'd recall everything Mommy liked fried chicken Mommy liked to eat slow Mommy said the best part of leaving was to come home Mommy never laughed when the joke wasn't funny Mommy gave me jars of orange blossom honey Please tell me what makes this life mine Maybe it is obvious But can you explain one more time? If I am the kin of my kin Where do my parents end and where do I begin? Daddy always worked hard Daddy always woke up Earlier than everybody else He didn't sleep much Daddy always wanted everyone to like him I think I'm just like him I think I'm just like him Mommy liked fried chicken Mommy liked to eat slow Mommy said the best part of leaving was to come home Mommy never laughed when the joke wasn't funny
Crush me under the weight Bitterness, jealousy, hate 'Cause I'm a fucking cockroach And you can't kill me I'm a fuckin' cockroach And you can't kill me Crush me, crush me Crush me, crush me (crush me) Crush me (crush me), crush me Crush me (crush me), crush me Crush me, crush me Crush me, crush me
I put my t-shirt on Look at myself and yawn Is it okay to be ordinary? I take chemicals To try to be more whole Maybe a fractions all I'm meant to feel I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to You put your makeup on I sit on the bed and watch I love the way you care Enough to comb your hair I take my t-shirt off I know it's what you want I love your love for me So ordinary I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to Our life is small but it's big enough for me I don't need any fancy things, oh Our life is small but it's big enough for me I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to I can't have it all And I wouldn't want to
I'm overjoyed to be home Red eye to LA, through customs But then I can't sleep at night I'm always distracted by Construction and street lights And feeling alone Climb Griffith park at sunrise Somebody tagged the Hollywood sign We all want to make it Humiliating to admit How much we need it And how we're alone If you don't smoke now You'll be smoking If you don't drink yet You'll be drinking If you don't dance free You'll be dancing Meet me at the shortstop No need to come dressed up Meet me at the shortstop If you don't quit now You're a dead end Quit that Juul Quit that drink Get some new friends Get your work hard/play safe balance Meet me at the shortstop No need to get fucked up Meet me at the shortstop If you don't smoke now You'll be smoking If you don't drink yet You'll be drinking If you don't dance free You'll be dancing Meet me at the shortstop No need to come dressed up Meet me at the shortstop If you don't quit now You're a dead end Quit that Juul Quit that drink Get some new friends Get your work hard/play safe balance Meet me at the shortstop No need to get fucked up Meet me at the shortstop If you don't smoke now You'll be smoking If you don't drink yet You'll be drinking If you don't dance free You'll be dancing Meet me at the shortstop (Meet me at the shortstop) (Meet me at the shortstop)